Stress ke ?

Hello hello...
I couldn't sleep last night. There's too much going on in my mind. Masuk bilik awal tapi berjam-jam bergolek-golek atas katil sambil buat plan dalam kepala otak (ke itu berangan namanya?).
Golek kiri...grab my BB pastu tengok newsfeeds...nothing special..letak kat tepi bantal. Then golek kanan..grab my BB again..check lagi..walhal belum sampai seminit pun masa saya check tadi..HUH!.. Tension!

Sementelah pulak saya ni bukan pun 'HOTSTUFF' (kata bebudak sekarang)..kalau tulis something kat wall pun belum tentu ada respond...Lain la mereka-mereka yang 'fofular' dalam FB tu..tulis 'Grrrrrrrrr' pun bukan main ramai yang 'Like'...comment jangan ceritalah..macam berbalas pantun pulak..Hehe..(i'm not jealous ye.)

My BIG day is coming very soon...another 4 month of waiting... I'm not just 'waiting'..i'm 'doing something' too (or i'm supposed to do something?)..But where should i start? What come first? Alhamdulillah the venue dah confirm. Now boleh print invitations..Kerja kahwin bukan mudah wehhhhhh..Konon nak handle sendiri.. Takde maknanye! The list too long!!

Saya takut terlepas pandang. Kadang-kadang benda kecil pun boleh jadi masalah. This is my second marriage and i wanted it to be special as it's Malcolm's first (the one and only katanya..). Saya nak special bukan hanya untuk saya dan Malcolm..tapi juga untuk anak-anak dan family saya.
I wanted to be involved in every little things on the wedding cause i want to remember EVERYTHING!! I barely remember anything about my first wedding reception (not only i don't want to remember but i just CAN'T remember anything about it...kecuali part adik lelaki saya - Iwan,melintas di hadapan pelamin ketika saya sedang bersanding dengan tangannya berlumuran darah - dia main mercun 'BOM' kat belakang rumah sebab majlis saya berlangsung pada hari raya ke3-tak lalu diam). Yang lain...saya tak ingat!

Patutlah mak ayah kita tak senang duduk bila anak-anak nak kawin..Mana nak cari katering,khemah,gift,kad jemputan,budget,transport,family yang datang nak bermalam di mana..bla..bla..bla.. The list doesn't stop there.. Arghhhhhhhhhh!!!

I know everything going to be OK..but for now..i am actually worried. Yes i might be thinking too much but i sure myself that i am not going to go to bed and sleep like a baby for months coming. I know i must be organized and keep calm..but i'm worried of being 'too calm'.

                                                               *i hope*

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She stole my look!!

Hello..
I got to share this!!..
It's not easy to have teenage daughter who is about your height,almost same shoe and clothes size you know!! (Yay to me cause that means i still got teenages figure..even better!!..Ahaks!!)

I was in my daughter's room just now..doing my hair.I don't like to stay in her room too long..mata saya akan tengok keliling.Bila pandang bawah nampak rambut atas lantai..Pandang dinding nampak sawang..Pandang atas..uuiiiii..tentu-tentu tempat tidur Spiderman punyalah!
Then nampak pulak one of my towel kat bilik dia (we got different colour  towel for each of us..) So saya start la bebel..Saya cakap kat dia..kalau bukan barang dia..jangan simpan dalam bilik dia..Kalau perlu basuh...masuk je dalam washing machine.Kalau tahu siapa punya..serah balik kat tuan punya..bla bla bla..

Sambil-sambil dia pegang penyapu buang sawang dalam bilik dia tu..dia pun cakap..."Ala Ibu..bilik Nena kan tempat LOST AND FOUND"..I'm like..ERR!!
Open her closet..you can found at least 2 of my blouse in it!..I'll sure you.

I like buying clothes for her..everytime i went somewhere for holidays..i normally eye something for Aina before mine.Shes a big poser..but i don't mind at all.I like to see her dressed well.She doesn't have her own style yet but her sense of fashion is alright. :)
What NOT okey is that she like to wear mine!! I told her million times not to wear my things..i dont mind sharing accessories but not clothes! I wear different outfit for different occasions .. kiranya setiap satu baju tu saya akan jarang-jarang la pakai.

Si Aina ni pulak..perangai dia..dia suka tukar-tukar baju (macam hobi Mama saya).Walaupun baju dia berlambak..she still got an eye over my things. Geram betul.I told her my clothes suits my age..if she wears it..she might look older than her own age and most important is I don't want people to think i wear my daughter's..look like i'm trying too hard to look young..Grrrrrrrr..

What about you out there who have teenage daughter like me..Are you facing this very same problem?

                                            *see what i mean...thats my sun dress*

While i'm still doing my hair i said to her.."Your room not a place for LOST AND FOUND..Its a place for lost,found and STOLEN!
and she just laughed pastu cakap.."Ibu ni kelakar la.."
And i'm like.......*eyes rolling*

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That Big Cat!!

WOW!!
Innit??!
Photo was taken at Tiger Temple or  Wat Pha Luang Ta Bua in the Saiyok district of Thailand's Kanchanaburi  province.Perjalanan dari Bangkok ke temple ni mengambil masa 2 jam setengah (you can enjoy the view on the way there..and can enjoy sleeping in all air-con van on the way back..hahaha..)
Mula asalnya tempat ni cuma tempat untuk sami buddha beribadat-located near the forest cause its quiet i guess so.In 1999 the temple received the first tiger,dijumpai dan diserahkan oleh penduduk kampung berdekatan. Namun the tiger died soon after...Around that year..some people tend to have tiger cubs as their pet..but as cubs  grows 'too big' (duh!!)..they sent the big cat to this temple..sementelah pulak undang-undang terhadap binatang liar diketatkan oleh kerajaan Thailand (thank god!)..so kira sejak dari situ..sami-sami Buddha yang ada kat temple ni pun belajarlah cara-cara nak jaga harimau (dasyatt!!)

The temple charge you  600bath or 60 hegget untuk masuk ke dalam tempat ni..Huge place..You'll be very excited even before you get inside. One thing nya berangan nak pegang  harimau-harimau tu..and trust me ..you won't regret it!!..The cats will be taken out on their 'leisure' time..First group of visitors start at 8 am.. Tigers aren't too active around that time(that what i've been told)..tapi ye le kan..jangan la dok hulur tangan pulak..nanti kena NGAP!..(sereemmmm)

You can walk with the tigers..sit beside them(seriously close to them)..pat their back..(i meant small patting..not like pat their back with all your guts!..dont blame me if they put their sharp teeth on your bum cause u so dumb!).
You can even feed the cubs(bayar lebih sikit la)..and i sure you..It's AWESOMEEEEEE!!

It's nothing like Zoo!!

Not even close (yeah..the thing with zoo..theres other animals too..not just this guys)..but trust me..that money you spend..really worth it! I went there twice now..i enjoyed both times.such an experience.If any of you are planning to go to Thailand for holiday..put Tiger Temple on your list..or maybe it can be in your bucket-list? Just an idea.

I always love Thailand.It's fun!..I love the food..I love the people..and i don't mind doing this trip again and again. :)

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Melaka..bandaraya bersejarah (Malacca..the historical city)

Hello..
People who don't know me sure wondering what i do for living?
I'm a fulltime busy (not really) housekeeper and a part-time singer(i think so)..I enjoy what i'm doing and loving every bits of it.

Remember i wrote about 'turning-point' on my second post? Well music kindda playing a big role in each of my turning-point in life.I left home to be a singer when i was 18..young and fearless..saya dibekalkan cuma RM10 dari Mama untuk mencuba nasib..Alhamdulillah..i've made it!
I'm not going to tell you about this turning-point (i'll do it maybe on next post)..i'm interested to share you the story that made a HUGE change in my life.

I was 31..2 kids at age 10 and 8.. miserable marriage..unhappy..no money..abusive husband mentally and fizikal  ..I thought my life is OVER! I left home before when i was 18..i dont think much cause i was alone but this time..i have to think very very hard before i make any moves because of my 2 little kids.I need them but more important is that..THEY NEED ME!!
I'm a mother who talk about everything with their kids..saya share segala-galanya dengan anak-anak..sejak mereka kecil hingga kini.They know that i'm unhappy..they witness with their own eyes how their father treat me..Anak-anak saya sangat memahami..Biarpun ketika itu mereka masih kecil namun mereka faham yang saya terpaksa tinggalkan mereka di bawah jagaan Opah untuk mencari rezeki lebih buat kami.

At the time..i had stop singing for about 10 years..but i know i got the voice and i think i am very talented as well..So when my sister asked me if i can replace her to sing in Malacca (setelah berfikir panjang dan berbincang dengan anak-anak)..i say Yes!
Living in Malacca banyak mengajar saya tentang hidup.I start from bottom..from nothing.Met a lot of good people.Made friends with people from different professions and life-style.I enjoyed it and i managed to give my kids a better living.

I got many interesting story about Malacca..saya akan selang selikan dengan cerita-cerita lain Insyaallah. Melaka benar-benar meninggalkan kenangan terindah dalam hidup saya. Di Melaka,saya mulakan semula minat saya terhadap muzik.Di Melaka, saya ditemukan dengan LELAKI  yang sanggup bersemuka dengan lelaki yang telah  me'lumpuh'kan hidup saya..bukan saja bersemuka namun he was man enough to tell my husband that he has treated me WRONG!..All of my 12 years marriage..i pray for someone who can face my husband and tell him to STOP..I found this guy in Malacca.

Orang tua-tua ada berkata.."orang yang sabar ni..balasannya elok dikemudian hari"..Saya percaya kata-kata tu.Saya sangat sabar orangnya dan Alhamdulillah...berkat kesabaran saya..saya ditemukan dengan insan yang saya angankan sejak saya kecil...dan saya jumpa dia di Melaka.
I would not have met him if i didn't say YES on the first place. I strongly think..that was my big turning-point in my life. Yes i agree..only you can change yourself. Only you can make yourself happy or unhappy. People can give you advise but they can't never be in your shoes.

There's a quote saying " you've made your bed..so lay on it!"..Just STOP RIGHT THERE!!..dont forget..u can always get new bed-sheets or even buy a new bed if the old one start hurting you. The choice is in your hand. Its ok to feel down but remember..you can always walk again..just make sure the next time you choose to walk...Walk with your chin up!

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Anak punya cerita...

Hello,
I'm 38 years old this year (2012)..i am blessed with two beautiful teenagers (cant believe how they grow very fast-eventho that what i pray for when they were younger)..hehehe..Daughter Aina now is 17 dan Adam dah 15 tahun umurnya(tinggi dari ibu dah).
When friends asked.."brapa orang ke anak ko?"..and of cause lah jawapannya dua (setakat ini..hehehe..berangan tak hinggat)..pasti disusuli dengan.."lelaki ke perempuan?"..and my answer is..BOTH. Then kawan pun kata pulak.."Untunglah..dapat sorang lelaki dan sorang perempuan"..Ye lah..betul la tu.. Memang saya beruntung..Alhamdulillah..Saya bersyukur sangat.

Orang kata lagi.."Senang la..ada anak perempuan boleh tolong ibu dia kat dapur"..Err..salah tu.Anak dara saya tak pandai ke dapur (mungkin silap saya tak rajin nak ajar dia masak)..dan dia pun tak nampak minat nak belajar masak pun.Jangan kata masak lah..kerja rumah pun kalau tak di bebel..aduhhh..tak 'menguit' (ayat mama saya).Pemalas Ya Rabbi!! tapi kalau bab bergaya...huh..serah la pada dia..Cukup suka!..

Adam pulak saya puji sebab senang menjaganya sejak dia kecil lagi (Ya Allah..Janganlah Kau pesongkan hatinya menjadi seorang yang berbeza dari dirinya yang ada sekarang..Aku bersyukur atas kurniaanMu seorang anak yang taat dan mendengar kata..Amin)...Sejak dua menjak Si Adam dah dewasa ni..citarasa dia dalam berfesyen pun dah berubah..Sudah pandai meminta dibelikan itu ini..(jenuh mengumpul duitnya..sebab pakaian anak lelaki bukan murah tau!)..Sudah pandai jugak asyik ambil gambar muka sendiri..(sebelum ni hanya Aina saja ada hobi ni)..Sampaikan Uncle Malcolmnya tanya.."tu ambil gambar sendiri sampai beribu keping...boleh bertukar ke muka tu atau sama je?"..diaorang berdua tersengih saja la..Aduhaiii..

Semasa saya mengandungkan Aina..I was sooo down. I was unhappy. I'm sad all the time. Selalu menangis sebab susah hati. My husband(at that time..no longer with him..we divorce 6 years ago) wasn't around all the time.Perempuan berbadan dua cuma mahukan suaminya selalu disisi je sentiasa..that how i felt too but obviously that doesn't happen.Sementelah pula dengan rumahtangga yang masih baru..ini takde..itu takde.. Kesimpulannya i wasn't happy lah!..So bila lahir je Aina..dia macam tahu je perasaan ibu ni..Everytime i'm sad..automatically Aina pun akan mengalirkan air mata..she didn't cry..just the tears easily came out of her beautiful eyes.
Berbeza pula semasa saya mengandungkan Adam..I was very strong inside.I dont mind my husband not around.I even hate him when he come sleep beside me at night!..Hati saya jadi keras..Tak sekali pun saya menangis..bahkan semasa saya menahan sakit untuk melahirkan Adam..urusan hospital semua di bantu abang ipar saya..Mana suami saya? Entah..saya tak tahu dan saya tak heran pun..

Anak-anak membesar depan mata saya..Macamana emosi saya ketika mengandungkan budak bertuah berdua ni nampaknya tidak beri effect pada anak-anak saya.Aina membesar as a young lady yang out spoken.Dia bukan kaki leleh(tak tau la pulak kalau di belakang saya)..Dia keras hati..berbeza dengan Adam yang lebih lembut hati dan pandai pujuk saya kalau saya tengah marah..Totally different dengan apa yang saya rasa dulu.

Anak adalah anugerah paling berharga dalam hidup kita di muka bumi ini. Merekalah permata.Saya sangat bersyukur.Cuba renung wajah anak anda ketika mereka tidur..tidakkah anda nampak wajah mereka sama seperti masa mereka masih baby dulu? Kalau anda jawap TIDAK...ada something wrong somewhere lah tu...Kalau YA jawapan anda...anda adalah seorang ibu yang benar-benar pengasih...Err..jap..saya nak tengok jap muka anak saya yang sedang tidur..hehehehe (buat lawak la konon)

Lelaki ke...perempuan ke..Sama je. Tak perlu dibanding-bandingkan...To my beautiful daughter and son.. I love you both till death!! <3

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Resipinya??..Share sikit...

Hello...
Today on request of my both kids...i made one large pizza sebab selalunya yang beli tak pernah cukup..nak beli banyak..mahal la pulak..So saya buat sendiri lah.
This is my second try making my own pizza and i'm glad..both time are delicious! (perasan)..hahaha.

Friends asked for recipe and as sharing is caring...saya sertakan disini resipi pizza saya.. :)


Bahan untuk doh :
3 1/2 cawan tepung gandum (tak kira la brand apa)
1 peket ibu roti (yg kering tu lagi bagus)
1 sudu besar gula
garam secukup rasa
air suam
(yis+gula+air suam= biarkan sampai campuran berbuih)
Uli campuran yis bersama tepung..agak2 lembut..rehatkan sejam dalam mangkuk..tutup mangkuk dengan tuala basah..

Lepas sejam rehatkan doh..ratakan atas tray..Elok guna tray yang rata (bukan tray tuk buat kek eh)..Kalau ikut sukatan yang diberi..doh tu boleh dapat 2 biji pizza..(untungnyeeeeeee)..
Bila doh dah rata..cucuk2 permukaannya dengan garfu..lepas tu sapu tomato puree di atasnya...taburkan juga lada hitam sikit(buat rasa je)
Topping untuk pizza boleh diolah sesuka hati...Nak ayam..letak ayam..Nak lebih sayur..letak lebih sayur.. Ikut citarasa masing-masing. Dah susun semua sayur ke..daging ke..ayam ke..tutup la dengan keju mozarella.  Ada kawan saya kata..buat la pizza untuk dia tak payah letak keju..gantikan dengan mayonis je ..Ehh..ada pulakk...Hahahaha..Tu bukan pizza la namanya..Marah orang Italy wehhhh...hahahhaa
After all topping finish..masuk la dalam oven..Panaskan oven tu dulu ye kawan-kawan.Set the oven to 200 degrees dan bakarlah selama 20 minit.

There you go my friends!!..Cubalah..you'll be suprise with the result!

Selamat mencuba.

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Licence to ????

Hi,
Hari ini saya dapat surat.....Surat SAMAN!! Kuang kuang kuang...
Caught by speed trap on my way back from KL..Awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee....NOT!!
Yes..i agre..i was speeding..I thought i saw a flashing light that night ..no..doesnt came from paparazzi Canon neither Nikon..hahaha..some clever police officer was resting there in a bush at night..waiting for me..hahaha..Not funny!

Saya dapat lesen kereta belum pun lama...baru 4 tahun..and this is my first (and hopefully the only) fine i got by speeding.Budak-budak sekarang ramai yang muda-muda dah ada lesen kerete/moto..alhamdulillah. Kalau tak budak-budak pun yang nak berlesen..parents mereka yang lebih yakin melepaskan anak-anak memandu/menunggang kenderaan sendiri..and my generation of being parents works very hard to fullfill modern kids needs...aduhai..bukan murah membesarkan anak di zaman cyber ni rupanya.

I set myself to have driving licence one day back then but never set when...I never asked anybodys help @money to get my licence...I worked very hard for it.My daughter once giving me some hint (i ignored her) saying 2012 is the last year for 17 year old kids to take test for driving licence (as she is 17 this year)..next year..goverment set the age must be 21 and above..(eyes rolling)..So..as me being heartless..i told her..i got my driving licence when i was 34..dan anak dara tu kata..kbai..assalammualaikum!..Terus dia masuk bilik..Dam!! (bunyi pintu la)

Kids has to learn to work hard to achieve something in live.I remembered i do 2 jobs a day just to make sure i pass the test and manage to pay home bills and food and kids school allowance and ect ect.. Hidup ni bukan mudah..nak apa pun petik jari. Paling penting kerja keras..dan duit tak datang dari langit.

Ada juga yang bagi alasan malas nak pergi kelas 8 jam tu..itu malas..ini malas..semua malas tapi lesen nak!..Herankan!! Percayalah..ada lesen semasa memandu tu penting..TERSANGAT penting! Once kita dah ada lesen...plus pulak masa ambil lesen tu kita guna duit sendiri..titik peluh sendiri..wahhhhh..perasaannya tidak dapat digambarkan.Bangga sangat sampai kembang lubang hidung!!..Hahahaha

My boyfriend (at that time) bought me 'Sparking Water' and wine (for him) when i pass my test 4 years ago..and now i'm a proud owner of a car we named Sharon!!

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Bersemangatlah...

Right...
Lets talk about semangat or spirit hari ini..
Saya terpanggil untuk membicarakan tentang semangat yang hilang/lusuh..terpadam...Percayalah..Saya pernah alami.

Last week i went to a friends wedding..i sat next to my daughter's friend and her older sister.Sambil makan kami berbual-bual..saya kenal adiknya..tapi tidak kakaknya..but even though we talk for only short while..but i saw myself in her.
Saya nampak diri saya yang 'dulu' dalam matanya.Saya dapat rasa betapa dia beresah hati.I got the feeling that she wanted to let herself 'out' tapi saya tahu dia perlukan dorongan...dia perlukan bimbingan..dia perlukan bantuan.
Saya tidak kenal dia lama tapi saya rasa saya telah 'suntikkan' kata-kata semangat buatnya.I told her to be strong..I told her to get up her feet.
Adakala..kata-kata semangat tidak semestinya ayat.."aku faham keadaan kau"..atau.."i feel sorry for you" atau lebih 'teruk' lagi...."ok..aku tolong kau"..The only person who can help 'YOU' is YOURSELF!!.. Kadang-kadang...kiri,kanan,depan,belakang beri nasihat pun kita tak terdorong untuk berubah jika kita sendiri 'tidak mahu' berubah.

Setiap manusia ada 'turning point' dalam hidup..no matter a good one or a bad one..Bak kata pepatah, 'hidup umpama roda,kadang kita diatas...kadang kita dibawah'. Saya lama duduk 'dibawah'..Alhamdulillah saya sedang mendaki diketika ini.Saya pernah berada di fasa paling gelap dalam hidup saya and i'm not even 40 yet!!..Yes..i got so many great advise throughout my darker years but yet my turning point datang dari 'SINDIRAN' tajam keluarga terdekat saya sendiri. I was shocked and of cause i cried the whole day bila kena sindir..but the next day..I FELT ALIVE!!..I found the answer..I started planning what to do..how to do it and when to do it.

Saya bersyukur kerana sindiran itulah yang menggerakkan saya..yang membuka mata saya dan mendorong saya...and I help MYSELF from there..Saya tanya diri saya "apa sebenar yang saya mahu?" dan its ME and ONLY ME who knows the answer.
Kadangkala..kita perlu 'bercerita' dengan diri sendiri..ingatkan diri kita..siapakah kita sebenarnya. Ada ketikanya kita lupa siapa kita..we tend to be someone else..someone yang kita sendiri tidak kenal.Paling kritikal bila kita 'lahir' dari 'rekaan' pasangan kita.They try to create 'the new' you!! Of cause we try to play along..macam main anak patung tetapi percayalah..'the real' you akan memberontak!
Stop being someone else..Stop feeling sorry to yourself and start looking 'inside' you and pull yourself together!! Be strong and love yourself!

Make yourself happy before you make others....

Pengenalan...

Asalammualaikum,
Hi..hello!!
Well..well...berhari-hari saya berfikir untuk memulakan atau tidak laman blog ini.. So at this time..Tuesday the 16th of October at 11.13pm..berjaya juga saya memberi jawapan terhadap soalan saya sendiri..haha.. Congrats to me!

I love stories!! I love reading it..listening to it and i even love telling it!! Mungkin minat ini bermula sejak saya kecil.Arwah Tok Abu was a great story teller (al-fatihah)..Opah Mun pun pandai bercerita..Even both my parents suka bercerita.Papa agak pendiam tapi bila bercerita..ceritanya selalu kelakar.Mama pun pandai bercerita..Masih lagi saya ingat..masa saya kecil..Mama suka bercerita bila kami adik beradik bersedia hendak tidur.Kami adik beradik pun suka dengar cerita Mama..tak kisah la dongeng ke atau kisah benar..atau..biasalah..im sure most parents around the world pasti ada reka cerita 'hantu' untuk 'takut'kan anak-anak..so Mama pun tak terkecuali..haha..but as for small kids..cerita hantu memang sesuatu yang dinanti-nantikan biarpun ianya menakutkan...and most of the time..it works!!..

Cerita-cerita hantu selalunya berjaya membuatkan anak-anak duduk diam dalam rumah.Tambah-tambah lagi waktu tengahari.Selalunya waktu itu lah,suri rumahtangga yang tidak bekerja hendak berehat juga..sambil-sambil anak tidur..ibu pun sempat lelapkan mata seminit dua.

Tapi untuk pengenalan ni..saya bukan nak bercerita pasal 'hantu' ke apa...cuma untuk me'war-war'kan yang saya akan turut serta menghiasi laman blog.I will share my stories with you guys.Mungkin cerita kita sama tetapi pandangan kita berbeza.. Let it be GENERAL. I probably NOT only tell stories about ME but mungkin pada satu-satu masa saya mungkin menulis sesuatu tentang isu semasa. Jika ada diantara 'pembaca' yang merasakan ingin menyatakan/menambah/membantah ataupun bertanya..just leave a comment..DO NOT HESITATE.

So..salam perkenalan untuk semua.

Bubblymummy74.